It’s Spring or The Return of the Creepy-Crawlies

I confess: I have an irrational fear of spiders.  If one gets near me, I feel a rush of panic and jump away.  If one gets on me, I scream.  These are all involuntary reactions.  Logic tells me that spiders won’t harm me (for the most part – there is the Black Widow, Brown Recluse, Tarantula….I was going to do a link here but I couldn’t bring my self to Google ‘spiders', sorry.).  They have their place in nature just as I do.  I just don’t want them in my place!
It’s spring and the spiders are showing signs of activity here in our house in the Vendée.  In the winter, it is relatively peaceful – no creepy-crawlies in the house.  In the summer they are all outside, where they should be.  But, spring and fall they like to hang around the first floor hallway.  First and favored course of action when one is spotted is to scream for mon mari to come and remove it.  For you arachnid-huggers I don’t actually require that they be put to death, just removed from my space.  I once stared at a spider for 2 hours waiting for mon mari to come home and ‘deal’ with it….it was a really big spider and I knew I would never sleep again if it was still in the house.  Another time I was in a hotel, traveling alone, and there was a spider on the wall above the bed.  This presented a bit of a conundrum: fear of total embarrassment prevented me from calling a bellman to come and remove it; yet plain-old fear of spiders prevented me from doing anything but staring at it.  After an hour of applying all of my mental powers to force it out of the room (across the floor and out the door, of course) I realized I had to take affirmative action.  After another hour, I hit on a perfect solution (also, the only one I could execute from a distance of 3 feet): I found an old travel-size hair spray in my luggage.  I lacquered the unsuspecting little beastie right to the wall.  He was still there 2 days later when I checked out.  Amazing thing, hair spray….
I digress.. My current conundrum is this: along with spiders of every shape and size (but mostly big) we have centipedes – which, in my mind are nothing but long spiders with more legs….equally scary.  Centipedes live for 5 years, reproducing the whole time, which is really terrifying.  On the other hand they eat spiders.  Can I make a deal with the centipedes?  Talk to their leader and explain that I will not quash their young if they stay out of sight and eat all of the spiders?  Will they keep their side of the agreement?  Or do I really stretch mon mari’s tolerance and constantly chase after him to kill deal with yet another creepy-crawly….I had better decide quickly…I saw three centipedes and one spider facing off on the wall this morning.  I’m hoping they take it outside…

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