Tomato Tarts, Potato Chips and Good Wine

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Our wine has finally gotten off its lazy metaphorical ass and started working.  There were a few hisses and fizzes yesterday morning (It's a big barrel, it's in the cave, it's easier to listen then to look).  This morning it sounded like hundreds of tiny firecrackers going off.  It's definitely working.

Thank Bacchus!  We got the Declaration in the post today. 

We don't have to pay tax to make our own wine but we do have to report it every year.  I've already had one argument with the powers-that-be because our harvest and final production is not as great as that of the prior owner.  I had to file an affidavit stating how many vines we owned.  They came back and said there should be more. 

We went out and counted, again.  Filed, again.  The second time I was a bit more clever.  I said that I didn't know how many Monsieur had owned but this was how many we had purchased.  And we didn't make as much wine because we were just learning. That seemed to satisfy them. 

Actually we don't make as much wine because we don't pick every bad grape and raisin on the vines.  We do a first pressing and a very light second pressing…instead of the 5 or 6 done by the locals.  We are trying to get 125 litres of drinkable wine rather than 300 of plonk!  Since the locals think the plonk is better than a Premiere Cru there's no point in discussing it.

But its working!   Yay!

Before I get into the story about penises I thought I'd share a couple of favorite recipes.

The first uses brown rice to make a tart crust.  I may have mentioned in the past that I'm not much of a baker.  Brown rice makes a lovely crust and it's healthier….so there!  Pfft!

Tomato and Chevre Tart Tomatotart

1 1/2 cups cooked brown rice
1 egg
1/4 cup (1 oz, 30gr) shredded cheese
1 tsp olive oil
chevre, (goat cheese) not the creamy kind  but a proper goat cheese: log-shaped and wrapped in paper. It will have a thin rind that is edible.
3 – 4 oz (100 – 125gr) Prosciutto or other dry-cured ham
2 tomatoes
3 eggs
1/2 cup (4oz, 125ml) plain or Greek yogurt
1/2 cup basil leaves, loosely packed

Lightly oil a 9" (22 cm) pie or quiche plate.  Lightly whisk 1 egg.  Add 1/4 cup cheese and the cooked rice.  Mix well.  Pat into a quiche plate, working it up the sides as best you can.  Bake in 400F (200C) oven for 5 minutes.  Remove.
Slice goat cheese into 1/4" (.6cm) rounds.  Slice tomatoes about 3/8 " thick (.3cm).  Tear or cut Prosciutto into large pieces.  Whisk eggs and yogurt together.
Arrange sliced goat cheese on crust.  Top with Prosciutto and basil leaves.  Pour egg mixture over as evenly as you can.  Top with tomatoes; do not overlap.  Bake for 30 minutes, until center has set.  Remove and let rest 5 minutes, slice and serve.

And as long as we're back in the kitchen with the oven on:

Baked Potato Chips Potatochips

2 large potatoes
1 tbs olive oil
sea salt for sprinkling

Slice potatoes the long way into 3/16 inch (.5cm) thick slices.  You should get 5 – 7 slices from each potato – discard 'end's.  Put olive oil on a small plate.  Dip both sides of potato slices in oil and lay on a non-stick baking sheet (if you have one – just makes it easier).  Put in a 400F (200C) oven and bake for 45 minutes.  After 30 minutes, remove pan, turn potato slices and return to oven for 15 more minutes.  When done, remove from pan, sprinkle with salt and serve.

Now, about the penises: (no photos, sorry)

We were in the kitchen, making dinner and not paying attention to some mindless cop show on T.V., when I happened to glance up and saw the front of a naked guy filling the screen.
Now I WAS paying attention.  He was  quickly replaced by another naked guy, well, not the entire guy; they were filmed from navel to thigh.  One after another, first the front, then a lovely profile, then the next guy, filling, yes I said filling, the screen.   Bigger than life size.  Scary.
I was definitely paying attention.  There was a male voice over during the, um, show, and interviews with the, ah, owners, talking about how fond they were of this particular, er, appendage; giving pet names, euphemisms, love monikers,etc.  All in all I had the honor of viewing 15 – 20 (or more, who's counting) flaccid wankers.
Now I'm really paying attention…and trying to figure out what the hell we are watching.
Then we see one of the, uh, models, um, manipulating said appendage…(I thought that would hurt!)  and the voice explaining that every most many some men will do anything to improve on what mother nature provided: to make it bigger.  The camera cut to a surgery involving penile implants, I grabbed the remote and shut it off (can't stand the blood).
Apparently we had been watching a documentary (yes, really, a documentary, not reality T.V.) on 'male enhancement techniques'. 

You never know what you're going to see on British television….

The guy doing the voice overs was hilarious…. I learned a whole new vocabulary…

32 thoughts on “Tomato Tarts, Potato Chips and Good Wine”

  1. Katie, you crack me up! We get some BBC TV here, but obviously not the documentary stuff! I’m so impressed with your wine-making. You’ll have to tell us how your wine ages.

  2. Hi Katie – I am enjoying your blog! I am anxious to hear your wine making stories. The tart looks very yummy and I have never tried the rice for a crust, but you can bet I will, as I do not have luck with crusts!

  3. JennDZ, Thanks… we’ll be happy if the wine is drinkable… good is more than we can hope for 😉
    Tigerfish, they ARE good, and crispy… and much less fat than the normal variety.
    Lydia, I don’t think it ages… The first year it actually fermented again in the bottle and was sparkly – that was fun.
    Deb, rice is a great crust – exp. for a non-pi.jpge person like me… it’s either that or buy one! I wish we knew what we were doing with the wine…but we learn!

  4. Fab idea for rice crust. I don’t mind making traditional pastry, but this is a snap that has enough heft and nutty flavor of its own to cradle that rustic melting filling. Sometimes regular crust is just a foil for what we load on top of it.

  5. The tart sounds fabulous and a great way to use the last of my summer tomatoes.
    I remember when I first moved to London and how absolutely shocked I was with the difference in TV from the States and then I vacationed in France and Brazil… Made the BBC4 look positively tame!

  6. i will most definitely be making this tart – i’m following the south beach diet, and this is perfect for later phases when you can eat whole grains! i’m really looking forward to trying it 🙂

  7. Katie, I really enjoy your stories. You always get a chuckle or more from me 🙂
    Rice for a tart base is a great idea. And I love these potato chips, a terrific idea.
    Documentary, huh?!? ;-P

  8. oh my gosh… what the…! Even I love watching (surgical) documentary, giving me that 15? 20? and slapping on my face, no thanks!
    Your tart is really wonderful, and a good way to get rid of left-over rice, I’m thinking pasta should work well (?)

  9. I just read your comment on Joanna’s blog and it made me want to visit as we spent 1 night in the Vendee in the Summer. My children unfortunately swam in a contaminated lake which sort of put a downer on things. But it really is such a beautiful area.
    I’ve never heard of using rice to make a tart but it sounds great. We often use brown rice so I might give your tart a try.

  10. The tomato and goat cheese tart is right up my alley. Anything with chevre is a bonus. The brown rice crust is a very clever idea as well!! The chips would also make a great accompaniment!How wonderful that you own vineyards and are producing your own wines.We have over 70 wineries here in the valley but I only get to taste. I have put my name in this year to make ice wine so I will see if they call me or not!

  11. This recipe looks great. I have made a few more of yours, BTW — the lentil mozzarella salad (I think I told you already) AND, yesterday, the fennel and sausage risotto. They were both great!
    Tonight I was bad, though, and lingered at work instead of forcing myself to go to the fresh food market and buy up to make a few dishes from this week’s menu. Sigh…

  12. Susan, my mother made pies without thinking….I need the brown rice…for shame…
    Breadchick, I bet Brazil was verrrrry interesting!
    Becky, I hope you like it…and good luck with your diet (The salmon looked yummy!)
    Simona, it’s so easy! (Big point for me!)
    Anh, sorry, we ate the whole thing!
    Kevin, yeah, all good things!
    Thanks, Shayne
    Nora, yeah, documentary…. I’m still having nightmares!
    Toni, that’s me! I do make Christmas cookies…and zucchini bread!
    Gattina, it was a bit much. I make extra rice to have on hand for tarts… I’ve done it with spaghetti, too. Vermicelli would work.
    Yikes, Amanda, a contaminated lake? That would take the fun out!
    Valli, that would be so much fun – to pick for ice wine! Or maybe not – Well, the thought would be fun. Let me know if you get to do it!
    Ulrike, it was more than I wanted to know! Thanks.
    Maggie, Actually, the voice over was hilarious..
    Betty, we can’t always be good! So glad you are liking the recipes!

  13. The powers that be want to get their fingers in everything.
    The recipes look great and the wine making even better.
    The porn documentary was laughable but what the heck? Men and their egos.

  14. Looks like a delicious dish…and what a transition: tomatoes, potatoes, and penises, lol
    And just curious (maybe I missed it), what kind of wine are you making? Sounds like a fun endeavor…

  15. Well, it seems I shouldn’t always think this is just a foodie blog either! That is Katie for sure!!
    I have a wonderful rice crust I used to make all the time with parmesan that I need to get out again! I really love your tomato tart!

  16. Hahahaha Katie you ho you! 😉 Mention penises and dayum, just look at the number of responses! hehehehehe! Cute story and shocking really…NOT! 😀 LOVE the tart recipe. I am buying brown rice today to try it. I’m soooo stoked for it!
    Thanks for the smile and recipe sweetie!
    BZ

  17. How satisfying that must be to make your own wine but the paper work sounds like a headache. Good for you that you got it sorted.
    That tart looks delicious and the crust made from rice is such a neat idea. The baked potato chips look really easy to make and very tasty.
    I loved your funny story about the BBC documentary. Hey, I live in England and I missed it! LOL (I would have turned it off during the surgery though too)

  18. Sue, it really was hilarious…I loved some of the names – and talk about egos…
    Ahhh, Mike… you inspired me! I devoted a whole post to answer your question.
    Tanna, we aim to please! Parmesan, huh, that sounds delish!
    BZ, I’ve been getting more hits, too – maybe people are getting me on the ‘penis’ google hahaha
    Maureen, It was on rather late… The wine is fun, especially when it turns out drinkable…not good, mind you, just drinkable.

  19. Hilarious!!!
    On a serious note, I love the healthy tart crust with brown rice. I will have to try that. The potato chips look like so much fun. Definitley good movie at home food.

  20. Jeni, I love the brown rice crust and never make the pastry kind… It’s so much easier eating all the cheese if I know the crust is healthy!

  21. I had a good laugh at the men and their appendages…I though maybe you had inadvertently pushed a p*rn channel.
    Those chips of yours would make wonderful Chip Butties. You must use sliced white plastic bread though…can you buy that in France?
    Just catching up with your blog sipping coffee and loving it.
    Cheers

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