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Our wine has finally gotten off its lazy metaphorical ass and started working. There were a few hisses and fizzes yesterday morning (It's a big barrel, it's in the cave, it's easier to listen then to look). This morning it sounded like hundreds of tiny firecrackers going off. It's definitely working.
Thank Bacchus! We got the Declaration in the post today.
We don't have to pay tax to make our own wine but we do have to report it every year. I've already had one argument with the powers-that-be because our harvest and final production is not as great as that of the prior owner. I had to file an affidavit stating how many vines we owned. They came back and said there should be more.
We went out and counted, again. Filed, again. The second time I was a bit more clever. I said that I didn't know how many Monsieur had owned but this was how many we had purchased. And we didn't make as much wine because we were just learning. That seemed to satisfy them.
Actually we don't make as much wine because we don't pick every bad grape and raisin on the vines. We do a first pressing and a very light second pressing…instead of the 5 or 6 done by the locals. We are trying to get 125 litres of drinkable wine rather than 300 of plonk! Since the locals think the plonk is better than a Premiere Cru there's no point in discussing it.
But its working! Yay!
Before I get into the story about penises I thought I'd share a couple of favorite recipes.
1 1/2 cups cooked brown rice
1/4 cup (1 oz, 30gr) shredded cheese
1 tsp olive oil
chevre, (goat cheese) not the creamy kind but a proper goat cheese: log-shaped and wrapped in paper. It will have a thin rind that is edible.
3 – 4 oz (100 – 125gr) Prosciutto or other dry-cured ham
1/2 cup (4oz, 125ml) plain or Greek yogurt
1/2 cup basil leaves, loosely packed
Lightly oil a 9" (22 cm) pie or quiche plate. Lightly whisk 1 egg. Add 1/4 cup cheese and the cooked rice. Mix well. Pat into a quiche plate, working it up the sides as best you can. Bake in 400F (200C) oven for 5 minutes. Remove.
Slice goat cheese into 1/4" (.6cm) rounds. Slice tomatoes about 3/8 " thick (.3cm). Tear or cut Prosciutto into large pieces. Whisk eggs and yogurt together.
Arrange sliced goat cheese on crust. Top with Prosciutto and basil leaves. Pour egg mixture over as evenly as you can. Top with tomatoes; do not overlap. Bake for 30 minutes, until center has set. Remove and let rest 5 minutes, slice and serve.
And as long as we're back in the kitchen with the oven on:
2 large potatoes
1 tbs olive oil
sea salt for sprinkling
Slice potatoes the long way into 3/16 inch (.5cm) thick slices. You should get 5 – 7 slices from each potato – discard 'end's. Put olive oil on a small plate. Dip both sides of potato slices in oil and lay on a non-stick baking sheet (if you have one – just makes it easier). Put in a 400F (200C) oven and bake for 45 minutes. After 30 minutes, remove pan, turn potato slices and return to oven for 15 more minutes. When done, remove from pan, sprinkle with salt and serve.
Now, about the penises: (no photos, sorry)
We were in the kitchen, making dinner and not paying attention to some mindless cop show on T.V., when I happened to glance up and saw the front of a naked guy filling the screen.
Now I WAS paying attention. He was quickly replaced by another naked guy, well, not the entire guy; they were filmed from navel to thigh. One after another, first the front, then a lovely profile, then the next guy, filling, yes I said filling, the screen. Bigger than life size. Scary.
I was definitely paying attention. There was a male voice over during the, um, show, and interviews with the, ah, owners, talking about how fond they were of this particular, er, appendage; giving pet names, euphemisms, love monikers,etc. All in all I had the honor of viewing 15 – 20 (or more, who's counting) flaccid wankers.
Now I'm really paying attention…and trying to figure out what the hell we are watching.
Then we see one of the, uh, models, um, manipulating said appendage…(I thought that would hurt!) and the voice explaining that
every most many some men will do anything to improve on what mother nature provided: to make it bigger. The camera cut to a surgery involving penile implants, I grabbed the remote and shut it off (can't stand the blood).
Apparently we had been watching a documentary (yes, really, a documentary, not reality T.V.) on 'male enhancement techniques'.
You never know what you're going to see on British television….
The guy doing the voice overs was hilarious…. I learned a whole new vocabulary…