Nurse: We’re going to put votre mari to sleep.
Me: (Thinking: I’d really prefer you didn’t. He’s not that old or sick…. and I have rather a lot of uses for him yet!)
Me: (Speaking) What?
Nurse: He’s having surgery on Monday. The doctor wants him to sleep.
Me: Now? He wants him to sleep now? (It’s 10:00 in the morning, why does he need to sleep now?)
Nurse: The doctor wants to be sure he’ll sleep right.
Me: The night before the surgery? (That’s logical, but why tell me?)
Nurse: (Slightly exasperated) He’s having surgery on Monday.
Me: (More than slightly confused). Yes, we know that.
Nurse: (Patiently) The doctor wants to talk to you about him sleeping.
Me: (Helpfully) What can I do about his sleeping?
Nurse: (Thoroughly exasperated) The sleeping doctor wants to talk to you about the surgery.
Me: (Thoroughly confused) HUH??????
Nurse: (On the verge of physical violence) The doctor wants to come and talk to you.
Me: (Somewhat enlightened) We already spoke with the surgeon.
Nurse: (Ready to commit heinous harm) Not the surgeon; THE SLEEP DOCTOR!!!!!
Me: (Total enlightenment) Do you mean the anesthéstiste?
Nurse: (Staring at me in astonishment) Yes.
For some reason, she assumed that, as I did not speak French to her standards, she must explain things to me as if I were an idiot.
Me, reacting like an idiot, was listening so carefully to the words, that I didn’t ‘step back’ and hear.
I even said, at one point: I understand everything you’re saying but I don’t understand what you’re telling me.
The result: The anesthéstiste would not talk to us without a translator present, because, while he spoke English, he did not speak American.
As it turned out, we never did talk to him as he was called away on an emergency. The same nurse that I wowed with my use of a medical term took the history, and was continually amazed that, asked an intelligent question, I could give, at least, and intelligible answer.
The surgery was this morning, mon mari dutifully slept through it, and was awake, assuring me that he was completely lucid, 4 hours later. An uneventful recovery is expected, with a return home in 10 days and full resumption of lawn-mowing duties in about 4 weeks.
And in other news: My blog is TypePad’s Featured Blog today!
Yippee!!!!!!!
Lastly, it’s raining. I never thought I’d be happy to see rain again, but, now it means that I absolutely cannot mow lawn for at least 2 days.
So was this salad:
Salad with Grilled Turkey, Beans and Feta
10 – 12 oz turkey cutlets (300gr)
1/2 green pepper (about 1 cup)
1/2 cup (3oz, 90gr) cherry tomatoes
8oz (250gr) red kidney beans
8oz (250gr) white beans
1/2 cup (3oz, 90gr) Greek olives
2oz (60gr) feta, crumbled
2 tbs fresh oregano, snipped if large leaves
Lettuce – enough for 2 main meal salads
Marinade for turkey
White Balsamic Vinaigrette
Make the marinade and spoon on to turkey, set aside. Make the vinaigrette. Open and drain the beans. Clean and slice the pepper. Cut the tomatoes and olives in half. Tear the lettuce and put into a large salad bowl along with the oregano.
Cook turkey on barbecue grill or sauté in nonstick skillet until done, 4 – 7 minutes per side, depending on thickness. Remove and let rest while assembling the salad. Add half of the vinaigrette to the lettuce and toss well to coat. Add beans, peppers and the rest of the vinaigrette, toss well. Slice turkey into strips. Add turkey, tomatoes and olives, toss gently. Sprinkle with crumbled feta and serve.
Marinade
1 tbs Worcestershire sauce
1 tbs ketchup
1 tbs red wine vinegar
2 tbs olive oil
Mix all ingredients well and spoon over meat.
White Balsamic Vinaigrette
1 clove garlic
1 1/2 tbs white Balsamic vinegar
2 tsp Dijon mustard
4 tbs olive oil, the good stuff
Crush garlic. Mix garlic, vinegar and mustard. Slowly add olive oil, whisking constantly.
I think I deserve a glass of wine…. Two, actually, since mon mari can’t drink his, I’ll have to do THAT for him, too!
Sigh…..
Katie, I’m so glad the surgery went well. Even if you are mowing for another month, it will be wonderful to have him home. And congrats on your Typepad honor — you soooooo deserve it!
hhahaahaaaaa this is a brilliant story! 😀 it really made me laugh out loud.
I love the bit about the ‘sleep doctor’ who speaks English, but not American. grin-grin
btw, can you recommend any uses for a husband? 😉
Hope hubbie has a speedy recovery and that there is no more talking to any medical staff in French or otherwise for a long…long time….Maybe copious amounts of turkey and veggie salad are just the ticket:D
Glad to hear that the surgery went okay, and congrats on being blog of the day – very cool!
Katie, what a brillant story. I had to read it to my husband, I just hope he understood through my giggling. Great looking salad too!! Glad all went well and your husband will be home soon.
I hope the surgery/recovery continues to be uneventful and a thing of the past. Also, a big congrats on the recognition from Typepad–that’s awesome!
LOL! Poor silly nurse!
Hope recovery is going well – enjoy that extra glass of wine.
Heidi
Whew, that’s a relief! Both the surgery and the rain! Enjoy those two glasses of wine – you deserve them! Maybe once the lawn dries you could hitch those two big doggies to a mower and get them to do the work? 🙂
Language is such a beautiful thing . . . when we understand . . . makes you really appreciate the tower of babel!
Rain . . . nature grants us such lovely favors ;)) 2 days off those 4 weeks toward giving up the mowing duties . . . the very bright side of life!
Salad looks grand!
And congrats on the award!!!
Lydia, thanks on all counts ;-)) I am rather getting in to this lawn mowing thing… I like the little puch mower (Izy)…not so crazy about the big riding one!
Maninas, I rather liked that myself… It’s not the first time I’ve heard the 2 languages referred to like that.. Hedge trimming for one… Though, not the first that came to mind ;-))
Val, just as soon as they let hime eat veggies again…
Thanks, Kalyn, and good timing for my mental state as well!
Pat, glad I gave you a giggle! Yeah, it will be soon, I think!
Thanks, Mike… I was pretty excited!
Heidi, you have no idea how good it tasted!
Zoomie, I’ve been trying to teach them….useless dogs… But I sure have been glad of their company these last few weeks
Tanna, it’s always a challenge…and usually funny, especially after the lightbulb goes off. It makes me appreciate some of the stupid expressions I use…
And thanks!!
oh boy, shall I cancel my doctor appointment? I don’t think I can handle that 🙂
Hope your mon mari have a speedy recovery.
I’m happy to hear that the surgery went well! Hope he’s back home mowing in no time.
He’s probably missing your fabulous food too! The hospital food here leaves something to be desired, but at least you get wine with it.
Yay on being a featured weblog!
My Dear Woman, I think you are already looking about on the sleep doctor conversation with good humor! Good job to you and ton mari for doing very well in the hospital. Also, CONGRATS on being the feature blog! Ya know, your blog is always the big feature in my home!
Ah les Français! Katie this is a great story of “Allo, Allo” qualities.
Noo, ze sleeping docteurrr..
Raise your glass to a speedy recovery, congrats with all!
Gattina, it’s getting better, and he should be home soon!
Loulou, the hospital food improved vastly after the surgery!
Thansk, W.C.
Lannae, thank you… that’s sweet!
Baking Soda, and it’s ever so mucvh funnier the next day…
Congrats on being blog of the day. Well deserved. I love your posts…when I’m not cringing from the snake story, that is.
And you had me laughing my ass off with the miscommunication story! Thanks for sharing.
And I do hope votre mari’s recovery is going smoothly…get him back on snake duty!
Ruth, he’s home tomorrow… I should have him on the lawnmower by noon!
I can deal with snakes…it’s spiders that do me in!